We have about two weeks left before this historical election where hopefully each of us will vote from our heart, and in so doing honor those women who fought at such great expense for this right for all women.
As November 4th grows closer, the dark side of competition becomes even more evident. It has nudged us all into deeper conversation, hopefully expanded our tolerance, and enticed us all to go deeper to explore what really matters to us at our core.
This campaign has raised many questions, a few laughs, and for many most importantly it has raised consciousness. When pondering the authentic perspective and nature of women and wondering who we would be if we completely accepted we are the leaders we have been waiting for, I continue to question the value of competition. Will we ever move beyond the demeaning, belittling, and twisted words that we package as leadership?
Amidst the flurry of being with family in the household of a special needs three year old and an eight week old new little baby grand daughter I have hardly any opportunity to read. I seldom even get to go to the bathroom alone! However, an ‘old’ book was brought to my attention and is now on my list of ‘must reads’ as soon as I can carve out the time.
No Contest by Alfie Kohn apparently has been stirring up controversy since its publication in 1986. It stands as the definitive critique of competition. Drawing from hundreds of studies, Alfie Kohn argues that our struggle to defeat each other — at work, at school, at play, and at home — turns all of us into losers.
As I watch the campaign unfold I wonder if we are really evolving toward greater collaboration with less focus on ‘power-over’ competition. With grace and for the future of us all, this is my prayer. Competition, especially between women who lack compassion and are controlled by ego, is particularly sad. Any governance that uses threats and fear tactics makes my heart ache with concern for the future of my grandchildren.
In a world where winning the rat race at any cost–or any other contest that pits one individual against another in a way that conquers–is considered an optimum achievement, pop culture analyst Alfie Kohn’s No Contest: The Case Against Competition highlights a more enlightened perspective that offers hope and a fresh perspective well worth drinking in as we head off to vote.
Simple-ology blogger Bean Jones states that Kohn cites three very good reasons why our contest-driven mentality isn’t really healthy:
1. It divides us. Kohn eloquently argues that our struggle to defeat each other–at work, at school, at play, and at home–turns all of us into losers because we waste our time, resources, and energy in our “fight” against our rivals. Instead, we could have decided to join forces with our competition and accomplish so much more.
2. It corrupts us. Kohn believes that it is not a part of “human nature.” In fact, he writes, the fact that most of our workplaces and schools value competitiveness instead of excellence push some people to employ dirty tactics in order to win.
3. It alienates us. “Rather than building character, competition sabotages self-esteem and ruins relationships. It even warps recreation by turning the playing field into a battlefield,” states Kohn.
As those women who are connected and committed to generate a New Earth and embrace the wisdom of Sophia focus on fostering a new alchemy of leadership that truly embodies compassion, mutual respect, the honoring of diversity, and genuine listening, the points that Kohn highlighted two decades ago are worth pondering and implementing as we lean together into change.
If we are the leaders we have been waiting for, what is our clear intention and action step today?
One important step… VOTE.
