For the past four years I have experienced an amazing onslaught of relentless circumstances and family situations that continue to challenge me spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially. Oddly, the circumstances are part of a bigger picture not yet completely revealed, yet I am certain are a part of my calling and my humble contribution. I am an instrument of a grand evolutionary wave.
Amidst this wave of uncertainty, change, and transformation I feel an unusual calm (and simultaneously I feel frazzled, too), sensing and trusting that it is all perfect in a way that is unclear and hard to describe. Each day, and the myriad of ‘opportunities’ each dawn brings, calls me to be more authentic, redefine happiness and my spiritual purpose and choose it regardless of my circumstances, reach for courage with grace (or not), falter regularly, forgive myself often, begin again and again, and go deeper within trusting that love is the answer to every question. I feel alone and connected, centered and frayed, but not afraid. Bizarre.
When I was a child, both of my parents worked long and hard to provide us with a better life than what they experienced being children of the depression. With the best of intentions, work often emerged and took priority over a promised family outing or adventure. Though I appreciated all of their hard work and everything they did to make my life full, I still missed time with them.
Anticipation is, in itself, a delightful feeling. Experiencing something special is also a wonderful experience. When the anticipation and the fulfillment of our dream are combined we feel joy from our head to our toe. But what happens when promises are broken? With enough disappointments we eventually stop looking forward to anything. When the excitement that comes from imagining and looking forward to something is squelched with enough cancellations, we often come to the false conclusion that we do not deserve joy.
It is time to resurrect the delight that is possible in looking forward to something as well as the joy that comes from having our heart’s longing fulfilled. That way we can experience joy even when disappointed and delight when surprised without any warning! Choose to see them both as possible and especially pleasant when joined together.
Life is intended to be a joy ride, not a demolition derby. Happiness is consistent, like the sun. The sun does not disappear on a rainy day. Its view is merely blocked by the clouds. Happiness does not disappear. It is only blocked by our negative thinking and by forgetting our magnificence.
Happiness is ours regardless of your circumstances. We throw our self Off Course when:
- We forget to enjoy the ride
- We are so focused on the future that we miss today. We only live fully in the present moment about 8% of the time. The rest is either spent regretting the past that we cannot change or worrying the worst possible outcome of the future that may never to come in the form we anticipate. Now is the only moment we really have. Savor it.
- We live in the past that we cannot change. Notice the road sign DO NOT BACK UP – SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE MAY OCCUR as the reminder that regretting the past will not change it. Reliving it is a waste of precious energy. Instead, look for clues to transform the present through the “gift of opposites.” Use your energy to learn from mistakes of the past in order to clarify what you want right now.
- We live in our head attached to our mis-beliefs. We carry the pain of labels we were given that were untrue. Happiness becomes accessible when we remember our magnificence and dare to return to living in our heart rather than from our head.
- We live for the destination, not the journey. Too often we get caught up striving and reaching toward the elusive future to the point we neglect the present moment. True happiness is not out there somewhere, but right here before us now. Although it is important to be aware that we create the future we want, we create it by living fully present in this moment, and then the next, and then the next, and in connecting them together they become our future. Life is a journey, not a destination. Now is the abundance we have this moment even if the future never comes.
- We let money dictate our life’s decisions. The most important things in life are the people we love…our relationships. Our connection with the ones we love is what we can take with us when we die and what will continue to live on long after our passing. Money is a necessary form of energy that we all deserve; however, the Beatles were right…Money Can’t Buy You Love…or durable happiness.
- Our possessions possess us. The more we have the more we seem to want. With this insatiable demand seems to be a growing sense of entitlement rather than gratitude. Too many of us fall into the trap of having more things than we have time to enjoy, and use the time we have expanding the things in our life rather than in nurturing the relationships or applying our abundance to benefit all. Balance is what is called for, not the exclusion of one or the other. Remember to be grateful for and generous with all that you have, knowing that it is who you are that matters most.
- Our obsession with security makes us feel insecure and makes us a prisoner of our limited thinking. The media invites us to focus on fear, and what we focus on we create more of. When we are afraid, we become disconnected from our innate power. Our security comes from an inner sense of well-being and balance. Focus on all that is working in your life rather than what is not. Choose to feed yourself with all the wonders around you to dissolve fear and generate peace for all.
- We avoid death at the expense of life. Are you going to die until you die, or are you going to live until you die? Many of us spend our life avoiding or fearing death rather than fully jumping into life. Live life fully moment to moment to best insure that you will not die with regrets. Break free of your comfort zone and dare to stretch and try new things. Live life, love fully and leave a legacy worth modeling.
- We scare our self to death with our thoughts. Negative thinking contaminates happiness more certainly than anything else. Become conscious of your thinking, and then consciously choose to change the quality of the thoughts that create your reality.
A few suggestions for Getting Back on Course…
• Consciously savor every moment and know we are safe
• Forgive past hurts easily and willingly as a way of setting our self free
• Live from the inside out honoring our heart’s voice
• Embrace life as a journey full of positive possibilities rather than as a specific destination
• Welcome and know that the most important things in life aren’t things
• Live life focusing on the quality rather than the quantity
• Realize it is not our life that is off course, but how we think and feel about our life that is off course
• Know happiness is not about how we arrange our life, but how we arrange how we view our life
Tomorrow brings another wave of change and demands. I write this in the wee hours just before dawn when I can not sleep. I listen to the crickets, the moans of the refrigerator, feel the air from the fan caress my cheek, hear the annoying hum of a mosquito looking for breakfast, and the orchestra made by the active silence that surrounds me. We are alive.
Although restless and a bit weary, I feel renewed after this journaling meditation and will awaken (or already be awake… who knows?) to start fresh another day with hope and the subtle bliss that uncertainty has been bringing me on a regular basis. I know that happiness will be mine moment-by-moment, if I choose. Care to hold my hand and choose with me?
Women, with all our resilience and ability to love, are amazing. I am amazing, and I am in the good company of evolutionary sisters creating their way.
Now I can sleep.
Joy-fully,
Rhonda
P.S. If you happen to need a mentor-coach to nudge and encourage you and help you maneuver the highs and lows and twists and turns to create a very conscious and fulfilling life, let me know!
